Miles Davis The Cellar Door Sessions 1970[Columbia; 2006]Rating: 9.4
Dear Pitchforkmedia,
I’ve recently read Dominique Leone’s review of Miles Davis The Cellar Door Sessions and I have a few questions/suggestions:
1. Can you please stop reviewing expensive box sets I cannot afford?
2. If you are going to review expensive box sets I cannot afford can you give them a bad rating so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on the fun?
3. Can you please lend me the money to purchase expensive box sets I cannot afford?
4. Thank you for reviewing individual disks of aforementioned box sets I cannot afford. The reason being it is much easier to steal individual discs.
5. Can you mention the obvious irony in the fact that it most likely costs more to buy this box set I cannot afford than to have actually seen Miles Davis play these shows?
6. Why are we leaving out obvious Donnie Darko “Cellar Door” connections?
7. Can a straight man go see Brokeback Mountain?
8. Can I go see Brokeback Mountain?
9. I was kidding about Brokeback Mountain.
10. There is no hidden meaning between questions 7 and 8 being separate questions.
11. Did you really listen to the whole box set I cannot afford?
12. Did you do something else while listening to the box set I cannot afford being that Jazz is great music to study, clean your house, and get in girl’s pants to?
13. Can I be called a Jazz expert simply possessing the knowledge that Dave Brubeck is white?
14. Can you at least send me your copy of this box set I cannot afford?
15. Is their a God?
16. Is Pitchperfect a substitute for God?
17. Can you at least make me a copy of the box set I cannot afford?
18. Would you consider hand rewriting the linear notes?
19. Is Dave Brubeck white?
20. Can I live?
Yours,
Alex Vermitsky
