As Pitchforkmedia reported today, Brooklyn band TV on the Radio will be touring with Nine Inch Nails and Bauhaus. An interesting decision to say the least. I sat down with a visibly angry Elton John to talk about this.
TQT: Thank you for joining me Elton.
ELTON: That's Sir Elton you bastard! Don't push me! I could snap at any moment. I've killed before!
At this point Elton approaches me, his eyes displaying the rage of a wounded cougar.
TQT: My mistake. I apologize.
Elton returns to his seat.
So what do you make of the news that TV on the Radio will be supporting Nine Inch Nails on an upcoming tour?
ELTON: Its insane I tell you! Absolutely fucked! I mean what's the point? I met Trent Reznor once. He didn't even compliment me on my purple blazer. Well screw him! Did he write 'Candle in the Wind'? No!
TQT: He has written some very successful songs. And people love his live shows
ELTON: What a bunch of crap. You call screaming in black mascera a show?
He spits in my face to show his disdain
A show is 50,000 screaming fans at Wembley and me in a Donald Duck costume. That's fucking art! Do these two bands really have similar fan bases? No!
TQT: Well Elton, I do think both bands have a similar dark tone, and the point of a tour like this is to open eyes of people who may not of heard the smaller band before. I think Nine Inch Nails fans may very well enjoy TV on the Radio.
ELTON: Are you calling me a liar?
TQT: What? No not at all. Its just-
ELTON: You filthy pig! You're a filthy pig! I'll kill you.
At this point in the interview Sir Elton took out a concealed cricket bat and cracked me over the head several times. After he was pulled off me by his own security I continued slightly dazed.
TQT: Um, Elton, are you a fan of TV on the Radio?
ELTON: (Taking a mocking tone) I don't know, is Bernie Taupin in the band?
TQT: Uh, No.
ELTON: Then what do you think you git?
TQT: Then why did you agree to this interview?
ELTON: Why do think? Your stupid site is going to pay me $25K for your five minutes, which I would like to mention is almost up.
TQT: I don't know who told you that but we do this for free. We're pretty much broke.
Elton sits silently for a moment before the cricket bat re-emerges. It was at this point I left the room in haste.
