Thursday, March 09, 2006

Ice Cube "Race Card"

A 1.5 star rating over on the 'Fork' for this new Ice Cube joint which is the theme to his new MTV show "Black. White"

"Black. White." is basically "Race Swap"; two families switch races with the help of Hollywood magic and see what it's like to wear really tacky body make-up all day long".

Granted I haven't heard the track in question, but I'm willing to accept it's probably as crap as the review suggests.

Oh Ice Cube what happened. I mean you went from pouring 40's on the corner for your dead homies and telling us to Fuck The Police, to saying shit like "they got snakes that big" in Anaconda.... and did I totally imagine this... but did you also call the giant anaconda a "bitch" in that movie?... if so, I refuse to accept that as 'street'. "Are We There Yet"... don't get me started. Did you and Cheech Marin swap notes on how to reinvent yourself and erase history?

But here's the thing I'm most angry about. Your new MTV show "Black.White" seems a lot like an idea I had that I told a few people about. Now I'm pretty sure we don't know any of the same people within at least 3 degrees of separation, but I'm suspicious. And granted it's my own fault for being to lazy to do anything with this idea, and ad to that your idea seems like a bit of rip on that classic SNL skit where Eddie Murphy goes undercover as a white guy and discovers everything is free and there's party's on buses when the last black guy leaves... but all that's to say I think your new show will guarantee that I'll never be able to sell my idea for...

"Survivor : Compton"

You know that show would be better then yours. 2 teams of players and Jeff Probst descend on Compton and make 2 camps in the hood. Fuck Borneo, survive your night time walk to tribal council through South Central while having to perform some 'tasks' and then call yourself a survivor. Task #1 : perform 3 songs by Skrewdriver outside a 7-11. Now that Mr. Cube is television people will want to watch. Run with it my friend. You have connections where I have none. I will reveal my identity strictly for royalty cheques from you.