Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Madonna / Confessions on the Dance Floor / Rating 6.2

trying to predict the next dominant style instead of confidently setting it.

Pitchfork covers Madonna, sure why not. Major label releases are welcomed into their review pool whether their readers care about it / approve or not. The only question that arises from this mixed message policy is if they are going to review the Destiny Child’s and Madonna’s of the world why not include their tour dates or their breaking news too?

Does PFM want to be Rolling Stone or not? It’s hard to be elite AND just like every body else.

PFM says: “At 47 Madonna is playing the role of someone 25 years younger, and those retro space leotards and that feathered hair only make her look more mature and matronly, like your friend's mom dressed up embarrassingly for Halloween.”

If anyone has the body that Madonna does at age 47 then I welcome you to dress any way you damn well please. I didn’t realize that in the year 2005 there were rules for aging and if we really want to stop inappropriate clothing let’s focus on the people who try to squeeze into pants and shirts too small causing a donut like ripple of skin around their middle to spill messily out from under the suffocating material.

Seeing that eye sore pains me, not Madonna.

Anyhow what does her age to fashion ratio have to do with her music or is PFM lacking any other real angle to intelligently discuss her music. I know some people are rolling their eyes as I use the word intelligent and Madonna’s music in the same sentence but I would have expected a more academic approach to such a top level artists. If Pitchfork is going to step up to the plate with a review of a record a million others are going to cover too why in the world wouldn’t they try to dish out a competitive fresh take? PFM has covered Stuart Price of Les Rhythmes Digitales / Zoot Woman in the past so it wouldn’t have been out of place to expand upon this aspect of Confessions on a Dance Floor, something I am certain few mainstream publications would be able to expertly comment upon.

Secondly who the hell expects brilliant lyrics from Madonna? Anyone?
Oh right, Pitchfork.

PFM says: “The young Madonna pops up repeatedly on Confessions, a foil to her older self. "How High" plumbs the motives behind her headline- and crotch-grabbing behavior of yore, but it only reveals how deeply she has embedded herself into the establishment.”

A Madonna review on Pitchfork seems pretty darn “embedded into the establishment” too so to really stick it to the man it looks like everybody involved is going to have to try a little harder the next time around.

Reminder: Madonna makes relatively mindless mainstream music to dance to and for those of you who care Confessions on the Dance Floor successfully extends this tradition.