Monday, November 28, 2005

Early Man / Closing In / Rating 7.7

But as someone who still appreciates the keep-it-simple-stupid attitude of classic 70s heavy metal, Closing In is a resounding success.

Too bad this is last sentence of the PFM review because had it been in the first paragraph I would have known just a little sooner to ignore the contents of this entire review. Neither Sabbath or Maiden wrote “simple-stupid” heavy metal ditties for beginners in heavy.

Early Man bites both of those bands riffage and vocal attack hard but does so poorly; offering a dumbed-down / one trick pony version of metal... much closer the simple stupid metal formula mentioned above. (w/ a small dose of Bay Area thrash here and there)

I have four words for you:

FYI for those who follow metal: crossing Ozzy with Maiden comes at an ironic time when Sharon Osbourne has created a mega riff between both bands post 2005 Ozzfest.


PFM says: "It's a throwback to early 80s thrash, the era before speed often became a substitute for creative ideas. Every song is built around galloping riffs and booming power chords" and "There's only so much that can be done with mid-tempo, riff-driven metal"

Anybody who listens to this record and hears mainly thrash shouldn’t be allowed to review metal records. Surrender your boutique purchased vintage Metallica quarter sleeve and go back to listening to your Andrew WK records.


PS: Having your “metal” band produced by Matt Sweeney removes any real metal cred you may have once had. ( I don’t care how metal Matt was growing up in N.J.)


Shame on you Matador. I know you people have better metal taste than this and especially you Gerard Cosloy… I know you own the legendary NME : Unholy Death record!!! Don’t make me take back your NME long sleeve shirt I gave you eons ago!!! Redeem your metal roots and re-release that slice of metal history.

Closing In earns a 3.33 rating because it carries half the evil of 6.66. Had Early Man opted for a more traditional metal cover art ala Manowar or Priest maybe my rating would have been more kind but seriously a stencil logo is more Crass than (upside down) crucifix.