Wednesday, April 26, 2006

A Clearly Intoxicated Leonard Nimoy Discusses the New Flaming Lips Album Amongst Other Things

While relaxing on the roof of my luxurious apartment (TQT Manor), I was joined by acclaimed actor Leonard Nimoy, who in addition to being known the world over for his acting and poetry, is an avid music fan. While I did not witness Mr. Nimoy drinking in my presence it was clear by his speech and lack of motor functions that he had been enjoying some alcoholic beverages. Luckily I had my tape recorder with me. Below are this amazing mans thoughts on a variety of subjects.

ON WAYNE COYNE: Let me just say that I love Wayne. I love his little beard and I love his little suit. Wayne is a close personal friend of mine. You know what? You know how you can tell that someone is a good person? Well I will tell you. If they don't disregard you if your hygiene is lacking. And you know what? Sometimes I forget to shower.And brother, I can get smelly. It happens. But does Wayne care? No. Good man.

ON MUSIC IN GENERAL: I was in a band once. We were called Leonard and the Folds. It was mostly prog stuff. But boy could I sing in those days. I made Art Garfunkel sound like a bag of crap. If I had a dollar for every label that wanted to sign us I would have, oh I don't know, two dollars. But music these days is crap. Its crap! I know that people think that I am a peaceful guy, but that's not true at all. I react violently to bad music. I head butted one of the guys from Amps for Christ just cause I could.

ON THE NEW FLAMING LIPS ALBUM: Power chords make me feel great. Not as great as say a couple of reasonably attractive Trek ladies showing up to my hotel room after a convention appearance, but great nonetheless. And this new album, what's it called? Fighting with the missed sticks? That's it right? Well whatever, I love it. I mean I hear people bitch and complain that they don't recognize Wayne's voice. So what? Does that really matter? The content is still there. I have been humming these songs all the time. And i cried when i heard that Ambulance song. It makes me sad inside where the tears live. But Wayne a genius. He just likes to make interesting music and most importantly he speaks the truth. You know why Clouds Taste Metallic is so good? Cause I've tasted a cloud before, and they do taste metallic.

LIVE CONCERTS: I think that it is the duty of every performer to give their all. I want fire, I want sweat, I want people crying and bleeding. Let me tell you, I attended a lot of Germs shows and they were fantastic. Kids thought it was weird to see Mr. Spock down there in the trenches, but once I gave them a bloody nose they knew I was all business. Most live shows these days are idiotic. Leonard likes a little pain with his music. The best live act I have seen recently was Tamba Cha Cha. Good lord they shredded. That lady drummer is only five foot one, but she knocked out a grown man with only one punch. And the music is just top notch.

ON TUNINGFORKMEDIA: I've read your little website. Its ok. I mean I've seen better. You have some good writers though. Grettir knows what he speaks of and Pitchperfect has enough cred to fill a city block. Honestly I think you're the worst of them Thelonious. I hope you can take some constructive criticism.

Leonard fell asleep shortly after making this statement.