Thursday, March 03, 2005

Rob Mitchum: Fiery Furnaces/EP Review: .005

Tuning Fork
There's an old theory that Robert E Lee: head general of the confederate army, did not completely agree with the ideology of the South during the Civil War. Still, despite having clear-cut scruples about the institutions that enslaved black men and women below the Mason Dixon Line, Lee's heart was ultimately with his home state of Virginia. After reading Rob Mitchum's review of the new Fiery Furnaces EP I can now sympathize, if not empathize, if not totally agree with his Lee's heartbreaking decision. Let me first say that I love the Fiery Furnaces and agree that their records are creative, tuneful and wholly original. And I also agree that their fans are individuals with the highest levels of good taste and judgment. This is why it will be very difficult for me to look my brothers and sisters in their eyes; eyes that are no different than my very own, and kill them. That's right, kill them in the homes of their wives, on the inherited property of their fathers. If Mitchum truly believes that anyone in this country that doesn't particularly care for the Fiery Furnaces are worthy of nothing more than, "loathing, utter disdain, and approximately one tablespoon of pity!" and furthermore that he would like to take "the few of you that cannot handle the frenetic uber-medley that is a Fiery Furnaces live set and make a provocative documentary films about your inept and offensive taste and take them on the festival circuit," well then, I must stand, and say enough. In fact Mr Mitchum I assure you that I can, with minimal effort, assemble an army of angry Mudvayne fans to defeat your all too polished, post-prog rock loving, Yankees. And when we rise up, Mr Mitchum, from proud cities such as Richmond and Charleston and we bring the fight to your door, and you're forced to come out from what ever condescending rock you live under; we will then, and only then, truly see what you are made of. Oh, and Godsmack's fans just signed up. And they're drunk.