Thursday, May 05, 2005

Datarock / Datarock Datarock / 7.8

"Hey, if the mere thought of one man's penis entering another man's rectum weirds you out, just skip to today's American Music Club review or whatever lap-pop record we just placed in Best New Music. Bergen's Datarock are about as dick-in-ass as it gets-- gayer than Guided By Voices, maybe even gayer than the Boo Radleys."

The sound of tires screeching in my head hit about 10 seconds into this piece of failed drollery. Nick Sylvester, what the hell were you thinking ? Not only is a grade school level discussion of man on man action in your opening line dimwitted you go on to offer readers to skip to an American Music Club review if all your dirty talk makes them feel icky. Hello jackass, let me clue you in….Mark Eitzel the singer of American Music Club is gay, not fake gay, real gay. OOPS.

Secondly I can’t even begin to wrap my head around your Guided By Voices stab. Instead of gay perhaps Nick was trying to imply that they too have bad hair or as one friend put it, drink too much like GBV ? I don't know, maybe one of them is also an English teacher ? I can even pretend to get what he was reaching for there.

Lastly, the Boo Radleys broke up in 1998 so if Nick wanted to go for something truly sarcastic and why not dare to mock a recent band like Franz Ferdinand. They even have a song about dancing with a dude but maybe that isn’t obscure enough to make Nick feel witty and delightfully offensive.

I am guessing Mr. Sylvester went straight to the cock talk because this Norwegian band ( Bergen by the way is the next Montreal ) does it but if Datarock castrated themselves next week would you still do the same ?

I give this sad attempt at XXX one blue ball out of a possible two.